Life, take a look

The life we live is not always what we choose and before God draws us to him we crevasse and dip through valleys of unknown territory.  We feel it is our choice and our decision...little do we know that there really is more and a more that is the most important thing in life.

So we go through and make our mistakes of which, when we aren't saved amount to caveats in mother nature.  We attribute the bad things that happen to us to a God that doesn't care and a murphy's law that is instilled.  I did that and through it all I figured if I just had the right boyfriend or had enough money, or maybe that new outfit and a slim figure that would set the solar system in line and my astrology figure would smile upon me.  The earth, sun and moon would favor me and I would be "lucky".

All we desire to do is take control.  Take control of other's thoughts, views, and opinions.  We figure if we look pretty enough or do and say the right things we can ultimately get what we want.  I should know, I've live my whole life that way and without a care for what was in my way.

Ultimately, we come to a point that nothing, no matter what it is it's not enough.  We're NOT happy, and as time ticks on we figure it will be just around the corner. But you know, it doesn't happen and if you are not a Christian, it will never happen.  I challenge you to find any person, celebrity, rock star, athlete and question their true happiness.  Deep down you will find they have a longing for utophia and the life they lead now is just a quick fix, a fleeting smile upon a face.

Oh yes, there were days I was happy and thought it would last forever, nothing, no not one could take it from me. But as time instills our mortality the glancing optimism fades.  That is until God decides you've had enough and the bright light of the future is really tangible.

It's a life that you no longer have to wonder what's really important and where am I going?  Sure I know it really sounds too good to be true, like one of those infomercials where you feel that must be the best thing ever invented only to get it home and how the description and perfect conditions of the TV fail to deliver at home.  But Jesus Christ is really that perfect gift and the one that loves us no matter how bad we feel ourselves.  I have plenty of scars that humanly will never heal and a past of disgust that I could never share with anyone, but He knows and beyond all that has loved me, unconditionally.  I don't have to jump hoops to do, nor be perfect to reach the brass ring.  I am loved exceptionally.  Will you share with me?

So much of time if fraught with doubt, denial, and covering up what we think the Lord won't see. Even though our minds know better we still sinfully fight and try and hide as Adam and Eve did in the garden.  When will we learn that nothing can be withheld from the Father and that like children that have done something wrong, the parent knows, just as God knows.  So why don't we quickly run to Him and say Father, "Forgive me".  But no is it internal punishment factor that keeps us from submitting to Him.

Even though I know better, my sinful nature wants to somehow wait before presenting it to the Lord for what it is in somehow waiting will make the disappointed one not so angry with us.  It is still our prideful nature that figures somehow if we stall on confessing our sin to the Lord we can make it not so bad.  But we are wrong..God HATES sin and we should realize the quicker we can eliminate it from our repreitoire the quicker God can and will forgive us.

Things that I think are just a minor boggle in my life is still a black mark to the Lord without repentance and receiving His forgiveness.

It grieves me when at times I wait to confess my sin to our most gracious Father because I may not realize the magnitude of the sin or quickly running through my mind is the attitude, "Oh, my Father is gracious and he will forgive this little boggle, no need to mention it."

But alas, we are wrong, I am wrong, every sinful, erred thought must go to the Father with a repentant heart.  He knows and we know He knows so why do we fight it and try to take the control.  Forgiveness is the weight off our shoulders, the light in our step, the clearing of our whiteboard.

Daily, hourly, sometimes moment to moment ask God for His powerful forgiveness and trust and rely fully upon Him.